Designed by men, for men: Why sex with robots does not have appeal among women

Artificial intelligence expert David Levy stated in his book Love and Sex with Robots (2007) that sex with robots would soon be as common as sex between people. “The number of sexual acts and lovemaking positions commonly practiced between humans will be extended, as robots teach us more than is in all of the world’s published sex manuals combined,” he wrote.

Almost 20 years later, at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, the company Realbotix has surprised attendees with Aria, a humanoid that imitates emotions, seeks connections with people and has been given superficially attractive features. In fact, some people are already calling Aria “the robot for singles.”

The sexual technology market is extremely profitable. In 2023, it was valued at close to $30 billion. And, by 2032, it’s expected that this figure will exceed $100 billion. However, amidst these overwhelming numbers, something that hasn’t taken off are sex robots for women.

Movies such as Austin Powers and Ex Machina have introduced sensual female humanoids into popular culture. While their silhouettes and behavior aren’t meant to be comical, the animated TV series BoJack Horseman features a sex robot called Henry Fondle, who, unlike the aforementioned examples, is all about trashiness, laughter, and, of course, sex. In fact, the robot, built by one of the characters, is equipped with various dildos and anal plugs. Its creator, who openly presents Henry as a “sex robot,” has glued the objects to its structure.

The name may not be a coincidence. Some time ago, media outlets around the world gave significant coverage to Henry, a real sexbot from Realbotix that promised to revolutionize women’s sex lives. Ultimately, the robot turned out to be nothing more than a prototype, although female versions known as Harmony and Solana did go on sale in 2018. “Henry, if we’re being cruel, is essentially a high-quality dildo attached to a fancy mannequin with a Bluetooth speaker in his head,” wrote journalist Allison P. Davis that year, in a New York Magazine article in which she recounted her visit to Realbotix.

After referencing a 2016 survey from Tufts University that revealed that two-thirds of men would have sex with a robot, while two-thirds of women said they would never do so, Matt McMullen, the founder of Realbotix, claimed that the reason he created Henry was to “represent both genders.” He also wanted to silence those who accused him of objectifying women with his sensual fembots.

“In other words, Henry is not a response to known market demand,” Davis clarified.

“I think that, when creating a male robot, there should be more focus on the ability to converse and have recall, so that the buyer feels that there is someone there,” McMullen mused. At the time, it was promised that Henry would recite poetry to his female buyers.

“This shows that male robots can also encourage gender stereotypes. The promise that Henry would recite poems deepens the idea that women are looking for another type of relationship that goes beyond physical contact… which is true in some cases, but not in many others,” warns Lorena Blasco-Arcas, a professor of Marketing at ESCP Business School in Paris. She’s also the co-founder and director of the TRACIS (Transformative Research on AI for Companies, Individuals and Society) research center.

According to McMullen’s words, and in keeping with Henry’s poetic abilities, male robots serve as companions, not for sex. Currently, the company claims that the purpose of its robots is to provide company to those who buy them. “Our artificial intelligence makes our robots perfect for the household and to address the loneliness epidemic that is stalking North America, as well as to accompany the elderly and those who are isolated for geographical or health reasons,” the website copy notes. However, of the robots that appear on the site, two are depictions of young women, while the male robot has the features of an older man.

“Sex robots are aimed at men. I don’t expect them to become common. What’s more common is the development of AI girlfriends and boyfriends,” artificial intelligence expert Kate Devlin explains to EL PAÍS. “Sex robots reflect the situation in Silicon Valley: their technology is designed by men, for men,” she once warned on the podcast With Reason.

Pere Estupinyà, a biochemist and author of the book Science and Sex (2023), believes that “there are no robots with penises, nor is there any progress in that direction, because women aren’t interested in them. There’s no demand. In fact, most sex toys for women aren’t phallic, [designed] to go in and out, but rather are vibrators to stimulate the clitoris and, if necessary, dildos with special shapes to promote stimulation of the G-spot. There are infinitely more men who might be interested in having sex with a humanoid robot than women [who are interested in] humanoid robots,” he explains.

Now, that being said, at the end of her article published in New York Magazine, the journalist Allison P. Davis makes a clarification. “No, I did not have sex with Henry today. But to answer the question on everyone’s mind: I’m not not going to have sex with Henry in the ever-nearing future.”

Is this really the future of robotic sex?

Estupinyà explains that robosexuality (or “erobotics”) refers to the application of new technologies such as virtual reality, artificial intelligence, or even robotics to have more realistic and interactive erotic experiences. “The difference with conventional porn is precisely this interactivity: being able to converse or request [sex acts] from a digital being that reacts in a credible way. And, regarding erotic toys, future interactive sex robots promise that they won’t only have a more realistic human appearance and a more natural texture, but that they’ll also react to a caress, speak and have facial expressions that connect emotionally with what [sociologist] Sherry Turkle calls ‘Darwinian buttons.’ The experience will be much more realistic,” he affirms. However, he clarifies that he sees the latter scenario as being “quite far away.”

“Interactive, personalized sexual avatars armed with artificial intelligence can feed into fetishes… but I don’t think robots will affect our conventional sexual relationships. If they do work, which I doubt, they’ll just be another element. Perhaps the only important transformation would be in people who, for one reason or another, cannot have access to sexual partners,” Estupinyà explains.

Back in 2016, The Sun published an article in which futurologist Dr. Ian Pearson claimed that, by 2025, women would prefer to have sex with robots rather than with real men. Will this really be the case?

“Not at all,” Estupinyà scoffs. “I’ve visited leading robotics laboratories at Stanford, MIT and in Europe, and what they have [when it comes to the field of] social robotics is disappointing. There’s been a lot of progress in industrial and medical robotics, but much less in social humanoid robotics than we imagined. Science fiction and some sensationalist futurists exaggerated too much and set [goals] that haven’t been fulfilled.”

“[This concept] will take time to be fulfilled, because humanoid robots are very far from being sufficiently similar to humans for an erotic experience with them to be satisfactory. And, even if excellent models were to come out, they would be very expensive and uncomfortable to have at home,” he adds.

Pros and cons

Lucía Jiménez, a sexologist at Diversual, a company dedicated to the sale of erotic products, also mentions price as being a clear problem. She points out that, currently, there are hardly any humanoid robots accessible to the general public. Hence, until these types of items are marketed more widely and people’s reactions can be observed, it’s impossible to say whether Dr. Pearson’s claim will come true.

“It’s possible that, on the one hand, these machines are capable of meeting individual needs and that, therefore, they become a desired product. However, we’re still a long way from that happening,” she emphasizes.

As technology evolves and becomes more accessible, it seems inevitable that more people will have sexual experiences with robots. However, experts from the erotic shop LELO — futurologist Tom Cheeswright and certified sexual therapist Kate Moyle — warn that, to guarantee the future of sex and relationships, it’s necessary to ensure that sex robots don’t become common. “With their inherent submissiveness and unlimited possibilities of body shapes, robots could reinforce unrealistic ideas about human partners, or allow people to try out dangerously extreme fantasies,” they note, in a report published by LELO.

“A sexual relationship implies relating to someone who, of course, has their own tastes, desires and tempos. An AI [system] or a robot can satisfy personal desires without questioning them, or having to enter into dialogue. Therefore, people who seek to satisfy their fantasies without the complexity (and depth) that another living being inherently implies can choose AI over a person. In these sexual relationships, availability and consent will always be taken for granted, something that’s never taken for granted in a sexual relationship with another human being,” Jiménez adds.

“People could get used to interacting in a way in which the other person isn’t taken into account as much, meaning that sexual partners could be instrumentalized for the purpose of having sex. That is to say the ‘human-humanoid’ interaction could be transferred to the relationship between two human beings,” she continues.

The need for a new perspective

Activist Olimpia Coral is responsible for the Olimpia Law: a set of legislative reforms enacted in various states throughout Mexico, aimed at recognizing digital violence and punishing crimes that violate the sexual privacy of people via digital means. She claims that the creation of robots with human identities dehumanizes and objectifies female bodies, while artificial intelligence and emerging technologies such as sex robots are creating new forms of abuse and exploitation of women’s bodies. “Just like sex with virtual reality images, they don’t use real women, either. It’s essential to remember how this neo-production of the pornographic industry reproduces the same circumstances of sexual abuse and justifies its creation, instead of ending this oppression and abolishing these profitable forms of [selling] pleasure,” she writes, in an article titled Sex with Robots: The Automation of Rape.

Jiménez also warns about the possible sexual objectification of bodies. “It’s important to reflect on this and educate [the public]. In a society that objectifies [women], the tendency will be to continue objectifying them. Perhaps it’s more [effective] to educate people so that this view changes, rather than to try to fight against technological progress that’s already taking place,” she suggests.

Lorena Blasco-Arcas, who leads the TRACIS research center, reminds us that this is an industry dominated by men. However, as some surveys indicate that certain women could be interested in male robots, it would be interesting to design them with the perspective of female desire. “In this way, and by adding greater sophistication to the designs, demand could increase. But I think it’s important that certain ethical or gender bias problems be addressed before this happens. Robots will continue to evolve, but one of the potential risks is perpetuating stereotypes that don’t promote a healthy vision of intimate relationships and human sexuality,” she says.

Back in 2006, during an interview with The Economist, Henrick Christensen, president of the European Robotics Networks at the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, made a blunt statement: “People are willing to make love to inflatable dolls. So, in principle, anything that moves is an improvement.” Almost 20 years later, humanoids like Aria reveal that things have changed a lot and improvements are coming. Unfortunately, however, these advances aren’t being accompanied by deep reflections about the consequences that sex with robots can have. Many of the companies that are creating the machines are programming them with the image and likeness of what the pornography industry generates.

Therefore, as Lucía Jiménez pointed out, the efficient thing is to educate the [human] gaze to avoid objectification. Apparently, Levy was right when he said that sex with robots is going to be inevitable. What can be avoided is the repetition of toxic patterns.

Sign up for our weekly newsletter to get more English-language news coverage from EL PAÍS USA Edition